Ratchet File #4 - The Everest College Guy

Think of this blog as sort of a companion to trashy daytime TV.  Because, that's exactly what the hell it is.

I made a post about ratchet talk shows a while back.  And what would a talk show be without this dude?

The Everest College Guy - Pissing off North America, one commercial at a time

I could be lost in watching either Maury, Jerry, Steve, or Trisha...all of a sudden I get dragged back down to earth by the sound of this muthafucka.

You've all heard the commercial:  "You're sittin' on the couch, you're watchin' TV, and your life is passing you by.  You keep procrastinatin' over and over.  'Well maybe I'll go next year, I'll go next semester...' NO, DO IT RIGHT NOW!!!"  (Watch commercial for emphasis)



First of all, Tunde (yes, I know your name, fool), I don't need you to tell me what the fuck to do with my life.  You got some audacity to pop up on my TV and jump down my throat about my choices and you're standing in front of some busted apartment complex in a damn parking lot at 2am.  Bitch please!!!  And look at your attire.  You're getting on my case about some bullshit school and you got on a dingy white T-shirt and some tired ass snapback cocked over to the right.  You're not cute.  And don't you roll your eyes and turn your back at me when I'm talking to you, you ratchet son of a bitch!  And if you ever interrupt my daytime programs when I'm trying to find out if Damiante is the father of LaTranisha's baby, then I'm going to personally find you and drop-kick you in the mouth!

The above paragraph would be an exaggerated reaction to this TV ad during the first commercial break of Maury, Jerry Springer, Steve Wilkos, Judge Mathis...daytime TV in general.  The more standard reaction would be for a person to yell at Tunde while they're fumbling about for the remote to either mute the TV or change the channel.  It's obvious that his voice is more shrill than Beyonce's singing (I'm surprised I'm not deaf yet).

And one question to the Everest College guy:  Who learnt you how to spoke?  (Go look at that blog if you haven't yet)  "They out to help you..."  No, they out to throw an English book in your face if you don't stop dropping your verbs.  (N-word ahead, watch out)  Nobody's going to take you seriously if you talk like some ratchet nigga off Crenshaw and Slauson (see picture below).

My stomping grounds  ^_^

For some reason they always show this commercial on the CW and Fox & CBS affiliates.  Why is that?  Are ABC and NBC not ratchet enough?  Let me know if the Everest guy pisses you off as much as he does me.  The comment box is your friend.