Ratchet File #9 - I Hit It First - My Two Pennies

Ray J...you stupid, ignorant, simp ass fool!!!  You don't make music bragging about some famous skank you slept with!  Just like a female shouldn't brag about some dude she slept with, that is in violation of the G-Code.  Not classy, man.

Now tell me this...why the hell would he put out a song about how he tapped the biggest ho in Hollywood whose cooch is stretched longer than it takes to spell "Supercalifragilisticexpialedocious" (and I still can't spell that shit worth a lifeline on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire)?!  The same skeezer he did that infamous sex tape with.  The same slut who was on her knees slobbering on his dick like it was the last hot dog at Wienerschnitzel.  The same bitch who let him piss on her.  And lastly, the same cunt who thought it was cool to get knocked up by the biggest Captain Save-A-Ho in the rap industry while she's still married to his homeboy's employee basketball player.

What had me question this guy was the last few bars of his latest song, "...And if you were to come back to me girl, we'll make another movie."  Not defending Kim Kumguzzlian (I was leaning more towards SkankAssian), but she's moved on to many more rich black dicks after you, man.  If she were to come back to you (and that's a big "if) after leaving Kanye and the baby, then her pussy will be so stretched out that it'll put the 405 Freeway to shame from all the traffic that ran through it.

On top of that, why would you even come up with a song title like "I hit it first?"  Even though I know the reason why you even call it that (because he shot her to fame with a fucking sex tape), you're really not the first, technically speaking.  Her walls weren't so sugary by the time you ate them.  A brief list of names (you might be somewhere in the middle)

TJ Jackson
Some other names we don't even know after TJ
Nick Lachey
Nick Cannon
Damon Thomas
Yes, Ray J himself
Bow Wow (Kim likes that young, tender meat)
Shengo the bodyguard
Miles Austin (who added Miles to her miles)
Reggie Bush (surprised the entire New Orleans Saints didn't run a train on her)
Kris Humphries
And many more...
And currently, Kanye West
The next wave of black men whose dicks Kim Kardashian will suck...To Be Continued

As I said in my previous blog, I won't accept that "you're just jealous because she's famous" bullshit.  And don't even tell me she's got class.  As far as class goes, Ray J, Kim, and Kanye don't even possess an iota of it.  Class doesn't mean trading your soul for money and fame by way of a sex tape.  Class doesn't mean some bogus marriage for 72 days, then turn around and let your new lover let his cum swim around in your uterus.  If that equals class, then my ass may as well be royalty!

I sign off, you sound off.

Ratchet File #8 - Kim K and her Kult Followers

Last month, I blogged about a famous Hollywood skeezer who goes by the name of Kim Kardashian (that name alone makes me want to puke) and her rise to fame from a damn sex tape.

Yeah, this ho

What boggles my mind is that there are people who look up to this ratchet and go through all ends of the earth to defend her.  Yeah, she did a few photo shoots, endorsed some shitty products, starred in a couple shows and a movie here and there, put a song out (which caused my IQ to drop significantly), and has a tawdry clothing line that I wouldn't give to my neighbor's pit bulls (they're dogs and they have more dignity than a Kardashian).  However, that does not mean she is a model, actress, or businesswoman.  She just slaps her name on some shit she can make a dollar from (even her abnormally large ass and supposedly pregnant belly), and her fans support her 100%.  Then when you try to present her stans with the truth, they want to cuss you out and use their most classic argument against you, "Your jst a jelous hater coz shes rich n famouse nd your not.  LEAVE HER ALONE!!!"  But I have something to tell all you Kardashian stans:  That argument is not going to work.

Firstly, nobody's jealous of some slut who sucked off Ray J, let him eat her cooch, and also let him enter through the back door and requests that he skeets on her face.  Not to mention just about every rich black man in the entertainment industry walked into her 7-Eleven and paid for a Kardashian-flavored Slurpee (I do not even want to know what that tastes like [ugh]).

Secondly, why do you Retardashians go through lengths to defend this skank?!  Allow me to put it bluntly in my native dialect: Stop defending this ho.  Bitch don't give a shit about you and your life.  She ain't paying for your bills, she ain't paying for your food or rent, and she damn sure ain't paying for your car note to get from point A to point B.  But yet you still worship this lil' ratchet ass skeezer like she was the Second Coming of Christ.

Thirdly, stop using her half-to-damn near fully naked photo spreads, TV/movie guest roles, failed endorsements, trashy clothing line, and bullshit song as an excuse to say she's a model, actress, and businesswoman.  She's a ho.  Point blank.  Even that sorry ass reality show (if you can call it that) is just another way she whores herself out.

Fourthly, Kim Whoredashian is as guilty as every rich man she sleeps with or has slept with...or married.  (Kris Humphries, anybody?)  She marries the dude; 72 days later, she wants to divorce him (if you're ever on YouTube, look up Snoop Dogg clowning this slut to pieces).  And you steadily defend this cunt and call him all types of losers and shit (her stans call him a "looser"*) while Kanye West and lines of other rich men are out there sliding their dicks up in that wide load called her pussy, because she pulled the wool so far over your eyes that you are mentally brainwashed to the point of no return.

And lastly, just because somebody is beautiful, rich, and famous, that does not mean their looks should give them a pass.  And you wanna tell people to stop judging her (or others).  We are judging her based on her actions, which probably aren't heartfelt to begin with (she gets that from her skankalicious bitch of a mother).

*Brief English Lesson for all you stans out there
Loose =/= Lose.  Two separate words, two different meanings.  They are never to be used interchangeably, you dumbasses.

Loose means not tight, no elasticity.  I shall give you an example:
"Kim K's pussy is loose because she's been run through by every man in Hollywood more than they run through red lights on 63rd & Crenshaw."

Lose means to not gain or not win.  Here's another example:
"Kim K stands to lose her money and credibility once Kris Humphries is granted annulment."

There's a comment box below.  Use it wisely.  But if you are indeed a Kardashian Karpet Muncher or a Kim K Kiss-ass and use that same recycled argument over her supposed "greatness," then I'm going to treat said argument like some bad credit: you will not be approved.

Ratchet File #7 - The Local Walmart

Ah yes, Walmart.  The place to go if you want to "save money, live better," according to their slogan.

As a customer, let me just say that's a crock of hot, steaming bullshit.

The above picture is the local Walmart in Baldwin Hills, one of the many neighborhoods that make up South Central Los Angeles.  At first I thought it was cool, seeing as though the only way to ever get to a Walmart was to go to the one in the city of Lakewood (which I was most familiar with at the time), but as the years progressed, this particular location (L.A., that is) began looking more unkempt as I continued shopping there.  Some examples:

People squirting paint all over the shelves

Lack of crochet hooks and knitting needles (most likely stolen)

More paint squirted all over shelves and yarn, too

Somebody explain why the hell people are squirting paint on the shelves, stealing knitting needles and crochet hooks, and tearing through yarn like this is a playhouse for ratchets.  You don't do that!!!  And that's just the tip of the iceberg.  You go outside the store and it's nothing but hustlers and solicitors selling bootleg movies, music, posters and other counterfeit goods, or somebody's trying to get you to sign some petition to put whatever they're promoting on the ballot and you don't even know what they're planning to do with your personal information.  Or, you'll even see something like this taped to a bus shelter in front of this here Walmart:

Don't ever call this number!  It's a scam!!!

I even came across this at the parking lot in front:


That's my whole gripe with Walmart (Los Angeles), basically.  It's already gotten past the point to where I have to travel to another location to get what I need.  And even I have to go to an alternate location because the first alternate location is just as ratchet as the main location.  By the first alternate, I mean the one in the LBC, or as I jokingly like to call it, "South Central Long Beach" (only because parts of that city are just as ghetto as Los Angeles, if not overly ghetto).

And it also pisses me off that they don't even keep certain products in stock.  I can go to my local Walmart to get some yarn to crochet with, and they don't even have certain colors I want.  Most of the time, they hardly have any yarn in stock.  The shelves are basically 80% empty to begin with.  What's also bad about this location is that it's connected to the mall (better known as the Crenshaw Mall to us Angelenos), so you have ratchets trafficking in and out the place.  The one in Long Beach (by the Metro Blue Line) is no different.  Ratchets everywhere!!!  Because of said ratchetry, it's to the point where I have to take my black ass up to my favorite city (just so you know, my favorite city is Norwalk, CA) just to get some decent customer service at Walmart.  Not that there's anything wrong with the people who work at the one in Los Angeles (I know most of the staff there, anyway), but a person can only take so much ratchetness.

Now tell me if your local Walmart is as ratchet as this one.  Drop off your story in the comments box.